By Mirranda Tiri, Zimbabwe
During a camping trip in Namibia, my parents found paradise in a place that Livingstone once described as ‘the garden of Eden.’ It was a beauty, with amazing scenery, wildlife, and pristine surroundings. The only human-made structure there was a little mud hut. We spent so much time on mokoro (canoe) safaris, visits to nearby resorts, guided walks, and game drives. We played games naming plants, trees, birds, and learnt about the stars. We were in love with the wild, and my parents knew then that this was where we had to be. These years, from when I was 9 to 14, were the best times of my childhood.
Born into a broken family, I was called a mistake child. In a home full of terror and violence, my mother suffered because for my sister and I’s existence. Maybe it was because of fear or resentment, but when I was 5, my mum fled to South Africa, leaving my sister and me in the care of our father. We were all that remained from their marriage.
We found ourselves often shuffled from one relative’s house to the next, but never staying for long. During a stay at a relative’s house in the rural areas, I was sexually abused. I was only 6 years old, unaware of what it meant to be touched and violated. “Ukangotaura chete ndinokuuraya nemhuri yako” (if you tell anyone, I will kill you and your family) are the words that rang sharply in my head. I cannot remember the girl I was before that incident because he killed her.
Unaware of this weight I was carrying, my mother came back when I was 9 and took us with her, but this time, the situation was different. She had met Adolf, a man she was madly in love with. Every holiday, we travelled out of the city into the wild. And thus began the best times of my childhood. For once, I felt I truly belonged in a well-functioning family.
But the universe put an end to this.
When I turned 14, my mother passed away. I was sent to boarding school, and all I felt was abandonment and lack of purpose in life. At the school, I was bullied, went through depression and anxiety, and completely withdrew from society. I had also just reached puberty and had so many questions about my body and the changes I was experiencing.
After finishing high school, I wanted to go back to the camp in the wild, because that was where all my good memories were, and I felt I belonged there. I wanted back that excitement where there was no one to judge me and where peace was everywhere.
I remember who I was in the time I spent in the wild, but it was no longer possible to go back: Adolf, who had been a father figure when I needed it the most was a troubled man; he had taken his own life. So, we went back to being tossed from one family to the other like nomads. Eventually, our father decided we should permanently stay with our grandparents.
Within a year, our grandfather chased both my sister and I from his home. This was a blessing in disguise. We rented a room, and for the first time in a long time, we felt like we were finally free and home.
After a month, I met Trevor, founder of Purple Hand Africa, who works with the LGBTIQ community in Zimbabwe. I joined his team, and this opened doors to a whole new world. From the talks we had during camps, I realized that most people had similar stories about going through brutal challenges when they were adolescents. I reflected on the travelling and camping phase of my life: the time when I was carefree, in touch with my family and my feelings. I was motivated to support other girls that were just like me so that they could experience the same kind of healing. In our wilderness camps, they can reconnect with their parents, inner selves and nature while discovering who they are far from the eyes of the world. I want to help girls to tell their stories and live their truths.
Mirranda is a 2021 kanthari participant and the founder of Khanya Africa.
Khanya Africa wants to give girls the experience of free expression, self-development, and a support network through wilderness camps and other creative spaces. Through activities that range from fun and adventurous games to quiet reflective sessions, the wilderness camps will enable the girls to strengthen the bond between them, boost their confidence, and be vulnerable with each other to share their deepest challenges.
Mirranda will present her kanthari TALK on Friday the 17th of December 2021 at 15:55 Indian Standard Time. You can get more info and see the kanthari TALKS at
