by Sabriye Tenberken
A few years ago, I overheard a conversation between my brother and my mother. My mother had bought pens, brushes, and colours, stretched a canvas and was about to start painting. But there was the fear of starting, the fear of defacing the immaculate white canvas. My brother is an artist and teaches drawing, painting, and installation art. He knew this initial hesitation from his students and perhaps from his own experience. “Don’t think about it too long,” he said. Without further ado, he put a pencil in my mother’s hand and got her to just start doodling. The canvas was now no longer clean and untouched, and the threshold of daring to start was thus overcome.
I applied this effective little strategy to any project initiation. “Don’t think too much about what could go wrong, just start and create something out of it.” And indeed, it works! Those who have the courage to simply get started often experience that overcoming the fear of beginning in this way can be transformed into a kind of euphoria. Many experience that every start, if only given a chance, is magically tense, yet liberating.
Since 16 of our 2021 participants have completed their intensive three-month start-up phase, I would like to examine the magic of beginnings in this blog. For this I will also use reflections from one of them, Biman Roy, who has started his organisation bon in his home village in West Bengal, India.
Biman wants to transform the attitude of local farmers, from conventional agriculture to more environmentally earth friendly and healthy practices.
Biman has had an interesting life journey. Being born in a remote village, his playground consisted of jungle, fields, streams, and muddy ponds where children soaked like buffaloes. Then he entered school and his mathematical aptitude paved his way through to universities in India and Sweden, where he eventually earned his PhD in theoretical computer science. But throughout his studies, between computers and mathematical concepts, he never forgot his passion for the wildness of his homeland, the diversity of fruits, herbs and vegetables and the shady ancient trees. In 2021 he had enough. He left behind Europe, as well as his parents’ dreams that he would someday become a professor of computer science and, with a seven-month stopover at the kanthari Institute, returned to his home village.
Biman is a procrastinator. He thinks too much, and his detailed analyses often get in the way of his actions. So, I gave him the advice, “whatever you do, just start.” He followed that advice and plunged into activities right after the closing speeches at the kanthari talks. Together with Akhina, also a participant of the last generation, he traveled from Kerala to Odisha, visiting various projects along the way. In Odisha, he met with kanthari alumni who shared their stories of their start-up phases. One of them was Karthik, founder of Sristi Village, a self-sustaining community of persons with and without disabilities, which today is a very successful organisation. However, initially, right after the kanthari course, Karthik had returned to his old job as a director of an orphanage. “That was not a good idea”, he explained to the fresh kantharis. The strong self-confidence that he had built up during the seven months in the kanthari institute had completely collapsed when returned to his daily routine. This was compounded by the skepticism of family members, friends, and colleagues. Karthik experienced a depression from which he was only able to free himself by finally implementing his project ideas. “Start as soon as possible and make sure that you transfer your high spirits into the start-up phase. You’re going to need it. Every start is a roller coaster!”
After three months of being mentored by alumni during their start-up-phases, kantharis sent in a final report. These reports are very exciting to read, they give us a deep insight into the circumstances of each individual and they reveal the emotional strength with which they overcome the many obstacles and solve the manifold problems. Especially Biman’s report reflects the roller coaster of the beginning, which we project initiators, all know too well. Here a small excerpt:
“When I look back, I can divide my emotional development during this time into three phases and three different personalities:
- The over enthusiast (January, first month): I was super excited. Pitching projects to people online, meeting potential beneficiaries, trying to get bon registered as a Trust, buying/collecting vegetable seeds, collecting organic matter to prepare the soil, planting seeds. I was quite busy. In my mind, it seemed like I was going to get everything done within only a year! Then reality set in.
- The pessimist (February to mid-March): People that I planned to work with were not that motivated, seeds were not germinating properly, I was unable to answer a lot of questions after pitching, registering bon was a mess. I started losing my motivation very fast and my self-confidence vanished! Here my other self, “Mr. overthinker” took over once again. I got confused about what I wanted to do!
- The never say never guy (Mid-March to now): After a lot of back-and-forth arguments and self-reflection it appears I should just act without overthinking as Sabriye advised me. Instead of focusing on 100 things I decided to focus on only one theme for the time being, i.e., creating three model kitchen gardens. And this is paying off well so far. It puts me back on track.”
These days, Biman is traveling through Sweden, Denmark, Germany, and Belgium. He is speaking to student groups, to environmental activists, and he is making valuable contacts with potential supporters.
His plans for next year are clear:
- A) The realisation of three model gardens to convince farmers and their families that one can plant many different types of vegetables on little space, with little resources.
- B) eight short documentary films in local languages to give farmers an insight into successful natural farming practices, and
- C) an experimental village kitchen to develop new tastes with alternative vegetables and herbs to build the appetite of the population towards more diverse food.
“And what do your parents say about all this?”
Biman laughs, “Well, in principle they understand me and my motives. But of course, they are also Indian parents who are concerned about my future. They don’t necessarily approve that I, having earned a PhD, am going around with a wheelbarrow, collecting dry leaves for the compost.”
