In the safety of the family?
I have spoken to some of our kantharis about impacts of lockdowns on family situations.
Ruang from Thailand, a 2018 kanthari graduate said: “Family and home takes on a whole new meaning in times of the lockdown. The home can become a prison, everyone is at the mercy of each other.”
She tells how children can suffer, particularly from this exceptional situation. Ruang, founder of Hinghoy Noy (which means ‘small firefly’) runs a website www.hinghoynoy.com and a Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/hinghoynoyclub/ addressing cultural Taboos: “Thailand is the land of smiles and yet there is a very high number of people with depression, depression that often starts in childhood. You grow up with taboos and are controlled by taboos, first by the parents, later by teachers, and as an adult, finally by the boss or even by the authorities. Taboos are used to keep topics that might challenge the status quo in the dark. Many taboos in Thailand are about social hierarchies, death, sexuality, disability, divorce, menstruation and especially domestic violence. All of these are topics that should be kept out of daily conversations.
To support children, Ruang wants to illuminate the taboos using the magic of ‘Hing Hoy Noy’ fireflies. To promote taboo free dialogues between children, parents and teachers, she developed a website, games, stories and music videos, and additionally there is an anonymous chat room where children can call for help. In the last few weeks, because of the Corona lockdown, there seems to be an increase of abuse. In the chatrooms, many children expressed clues about domestic violence. “It’s very disturbing” She says, „They talk about beatings and sometimes there are indications of worse.”
When Ruang asked the children, she was amazed of one clear reason that was given: “My parents are afraid of losing their jobs. They are stressed, and as a result they blow off steam on me.” I was quite shocked and wanted to know more, so, I phoned Jyotshna, a 2013 kanthari graduate and founder of Janamangal. Jyotshna, herself a victim, works in Odissa with women who experience domestic violence on a daily base.
Her husband regularly beat her so badly that she ended up in hospital. At some point, she had enough. She took her two young children, dropped them off with a relative, and ran until she found a 30-metre deep well, and… jumped.
She can’t remember the fall itself. She only recalls opening her eyes, staring into a friendly face. Gouri Shankar Misra, had seen her jump and saved her life. (Btw. Two years later Gouri also joined the kanthari course). The bottom of the well was muddy and had enough water to break the fall but not enough water to drown. After Gouri had gotten her out, Jyotshna found new energy and decided to start her own organisation.
Now, in 2020, Janamangal has empowered 1,500+ women already. I asked Jyotshna if the current lockdown has any effect on the rate of domestic violence in her area? Her response was surprising: “No sister, everything is better now! Men are Peaceful.”
“Why? What has changed?” I asked. Jyotsna’s answer “During the lockdown, the police regularly patrols the village, so none of the men dares to take any action against women. And besides… there is currently no alcohol! So, for the moment, we have peace, the men are now even joking.” She laughs out loud. For the women in her village, the lockdown seems to have at least one positive upside.